Got a lot of memories when it comes to this song right here. They’re mainly made up of the times when I was trying to watch the video for ‘Try Honesty’ through Billy Talent’s website, on an XP computer with a primitive broadband connection in the autumn of 2005. It was at that time I found the band again, having seen the video for ‘River Below’ on the TV maybe a year earlier and then immediately forgetting the group’s name, and went to their website. On there were the music videos for their singles up to that point, available to watch, want to say either through Quicktime or Windows Media Player. Well, I had the latter, and I might be embellishing what I’m about to state, but even with the slower Internet connection I had, I really think a good portion of the video for ‘Try Honesty’ played without any buffering. Though, maybe I just want that to be the case. There were those very lucky days that the whole thing played from front to back. But one thing was for sure, here was a new favourite band, and here was a new favourite song. Hadn’t heard another one like it at 10 years of age.

It’s been a while since I’ve watched that video. Really transports me back looking at it again. Still get that sudden rush when the chorus comes in for the first time like I did all those years ago, seeing Ben Kowalewicz losing limb control behind the microphone. I think it’s the dynamics that occur throughout ‘Try Honesty’ that got me so excited about the track back then, even if I wouldn’t have known what ‘dynamics’ were or what they referred to. The introduction itself pushes and pulls, slowing down before picking up again and repeating. The downbeat verses have a slow, funeral dirge-like feel to them, carried by only two chords guitarist Ian D’Sa switches between. These are contrasted with the juggernaut choruses, heightened by the call-and-response vocal dynamic between Kowalewicz, D’Sa and bass guitarist Jon Gallant. Like, Kowalewicz does the call, the other two bark back the response. You get it. And then there’s the heavy breakdown with all the screaming where, nearing its end, the tension builds and builds before giving way to D’Sa’s riff from the very beginning. It’s like a ray of sunshine out of the dark clouds, not unlike how it’s depicted in the music video. It’s a very suitable metaphor.

And honestly, I’ve never stopped to think on what this song’s about. I’ve been enjoying the music too much all this time. And the vocal delivery. But it’s worth a shot now. I’m looking over the lyrics, and to put a very simple take on it, I think the narrator depicted in this song doesn’t seem to be having a good time living in the world. Finds it hard to have trust in others. It’s [their] fault, the narrator’s insane. It’s [their] well of lies that have run dry. The narrator quotes the ‘Forgive me, Father’ phrase as if in a confession, but negates it with “Why should you bother?” as if to say there’s no point in the Lord even trying to forgive because it would be worthless. Plus, the narrator flat-out asks to be run over in the chorus, and then reversed over for good measure. Sounds to me like a good old song about self-loathing. But it thoroughly transcends the “Mum, it’s not just a phase” notion that a lot of songs made around that time, or existing in the same kind of genre, fall so heavily into. Billy Talent wasn’t a phase for me. Maybe I listen to them a little less at this point in time, admittedly. But give me those first two albums, and I’ll crank them up to eleven right now.